Rules Suck

(866 words, 4-minute read.)

So, I wrote a book. Actually, I have written several, but I finally have one that is ready to be published. I have decided to self-publish, accepting that I must do everything myself. What I quickly realized was that writing the book was the easy part. But hey, I’m a “pull myself up by my bootstraps” kind of gal, so… I can do this.

All I need is a good system.

The problem with other people’s programs, systems, forms, procedures, and frameworks is…quite simply, they don’t work for anyone other than the person who invented them.

But I love a good system.

In the past, I ran my own Professional Organizing company. And yes, I devised a system to help my clients get and stay organized. It was a “simple” three-step program (First Step: Communicate. Second Step: Analyze. Third Step: Organize).

I was, however, not naive enough to think it would be simple for others to implement. This knowledge was the cornerstone of my system. It walked my clients through a series of questions, communicating with themselves and analyzing the answers. I encouraged my clients to explore what worked in their spaces and what didn’t. My theory was if they could discover the root of the problem (hint: it was never about the physical; it’s about the mental and emotional blocks), they could create a system (with my guidance) to keep them organized.

Pretty deep, huh?

But it was a complete failure. I didn’t have a clue until my business was in hospice that people just wanted it done. They didn’t care about the “how” or “why” part. They just wanted to have an HGTV makeover. To be fair, not all of them had that mindset. But the clients who wanted to play with my system were few and far between.

Ironically, after I shut the doors on the business, I went back to work full-time for a company that had everything sorted out and documented. There was a set of rules and regulations to which I had to adhere, and the documents were reviewed monthly, quarterly, and randomly.

I hated it.

If you are like me, you haven’t gotten to your present age without some war wounds and some wisdom. (Cue the image of metal school playground equipment.) Dare I say, we have developed a certain amount of common sense. And I think we should try to utilize that ability, but….maybe it still isn’t enough.

When we try something completely new, i.e., writing a book, starting a business, creating a marketing plan, or even trying a new recipe, we have enough sense to say, “I might need some help here. I need training wheels.”

So, we turn to Google. I searched for “marketing plans for writers.” In 0.55 seconds, I got 1,020,000,000 results. Logically, I know that there are a lot of repetitive posts in the list, but really…

Where do I begin?

I chose a program, and I dutifully set myself up to follow it until I got to a point where it didn’t apply to me or to what I wanted to achieve. At this point, my productivity ground to a halt. I had to make a choice. I could double down and force myself to conform to the other person’s system. Or, I could go all willy-nilly, randomly do what I want, and abandon the program altogether.

Or I could just stop.

And that, friend, is where most people end up. Good intentions get squashed by the feeling of being overwhelmed. And automatically, the voice inside starts saying,

“Hey, I’ve been with you for X+ years. I’ve kept you safe. You’ve survived all these years because of me. Remember that time when I told you not to go down that molten hot slide? Are you really going to trust some stranger you picked randomly from a billion choices?”

Super safe slide somewhere out in the back quad.

I have had that voice in my head for years. I named her Pat (more about her later). But I have also done a lot of work and read enough books to be able to retort in a snarky tone, “Thank you for your input, but I need, no want to do this. I am perfectly comfortable stumbling around in the dark until the pieces fall into place.” I have done the hard work (adulting) and know I will figure it out this time, too. I am starting to feel this way.

I have, in a sense, made my own system.

This is hilarious because I used my organizing method to gather my thoughts (communicate with myself), dissect other people’s systems (analyze data), and then establish common ground that feels good to me (organize for a result). Oh, the irony.

Moral to the story: Other people’s systems aren’t inherently bad or good. The user just has to be willing to mold it into something they can follow.

Trust your gut, common sense, and intuition.

Use your lifetime of knowledge to help you make a decision.

When you fall, you can always pick up where the ball dropped. You don’t have to go back to the beginning. That “beginning” no longer exists because you have gained more knowledge. Keep digging until you find your gold.